Masterclass C: Writing Great Dialogue with Zoe Walton

How to take your MG and YA dialogue to the next level

Zoe Walton’s practical masterclass on Writing Great Dialogue provided an excellent opportunity to learn, reflect and ultimately improve our dialogue writing skills. Zoe mentioned that the dialogue in a story is often one of the first things that makes a book stand out to a publisher.

Zoe Walton with some of her favourite examples of books with great dialogue

Zoe Walton with some of her favourite examples of books with great dialogue

Zoe’s top tips for writing great dialogue:

  • Punctuation is important. Revision of basic punctuation rules and styles were addressed regarding attribution tags, when to use a full stop versus a comma.

  • Currently, publishers generally prefer simple attribution tags as they essentially disappear and don’t intrude upon the story. For example, ‘said’ is most preferred, but also ‘asked’ ‘replied’ etc.

  • Zoe recommended the book Self-editing for fiction writers and discussed the preference for strong verbs, and few/no adverbs.

  • You don’t always need a dialogue tag, as long as the context clearly indicates who is speaking, however, it may be preferable to use especially with younger readers who are still learning the conventions of language.

  • Use beats (actions to break up dialogue) effectively – to illuminate your story, control pacing, show context and who is doing what. Don’t overuse or insert irrelevant actions and keep consistent (e.g. if remove hat early in the dialogue, remember to pick it up on the way out)

  • Find a balance between simple dialogue tags, no tags and beats.

  • Search your writing for your bad habits in beats – e.g. actions you frequently overuse for your characters, such as everyone nods or shrugs or sighs or has many ways of smiling or you always talk about what people’s eyes are doing.

THE PURPOSE OF DIALOGUE IS TO REVEAL CHARACTER AND SHOW INTENTION

The purposes of dialogue include to reveal character and show intention in all our scenes. However, dialogue is not real speech, it is designed to give the illusion of real speech. Real speech has all sorts of filler words, half-finished sentences, interruptions, etc. Also, people don’t always say what they mean, or they lie. Use the things we do in real life speech, but wisely and sparingly, so that it sounds real (not like a pre-memorised speech). When writing dialogue, ask yourself:

  • How can dialogue inform character and plot?

  • What characters say (or don’t say) and how they say it tells a lot about them

  • Can use dialogue to foreshadow, throw red herrings, propel plot, build suspense, precipitate the climax, etc.

  • Authenticity

  • Dialogue needs to be authentic to the character, e.g. age, era, socio-economic class, education level, etc

  • What does the character like or dislike?

  • What do they eat, wear, do, etc?

  • Aim to write dialogue that shows a rounded character, e.g. not just bossy or formal etc, different elements just like in a real person.

When revising your dialogue, ask yourself:

  • Would this character say this?

  • Would a teen or child say this?

Zoe also recommended another book called The Magic Words by Cheryl Klein.

Zoe getting class members to ‘speak easy’ aka write dialogue

Zoe getting class members to ‘speak easy’ aka write dialogue

Exercises

There were many opportunities to practise skills during the masterclass. For example, attendees were asked to consider their protagonist and how they would have learned the language they use:

  • What was the environment and household like that they grew up in?

  • What is their favourite book, band, movie, song on the radio?

  • Who do they hang out with – e.g. peers, adults, younger kids?

  • Do they have distinct characteristics from their influences?

  • What do they like to do? Remember characters like people, have multiple aspects, e.g. do they run marathons but also hide chocolate in the cupboard?

  • Remember, your characters likes and dislikes will inform their dialogue.

Now create two columns:

  1. in column 1, list things about your character (from the questions above and more)

  2. in column 2, write some dialogue they might say that stems from the point in column 1.

Final tips

  • Don’t overuse accents

  • In general, don’t use odd phonetic spelling for a character’s dialogue – it can confuse younger readers and not always be interpreted as you intend

  • Find words or phrases that are different from how other characters speak.

  • Remember, the same character will act and speak a bit differently when they are with different people (e.g. with parent, friend, teacher)

  • Be wary of using slang and do not use stereotypical language, e.g. if someone has English as a second language, do not use language that could be seen as insulting, in fact they may be more likely to have a formal manner of speaking depending on how and where they learnt English.

  • When displaying a character’s thoughts, either keep in normal font or in italics, never in quotation marks.

  • Be very aware to never use racist, sexist or ableist language (e.g. words like crazy, dumb, idiot, etc).

  • Make sure your characters are unique individuals, not stereotypes. Never portray characters in a way that may be harmful to readers.

  • Avoid info-dumps – weave back story in or remove it.

Zoe recommended another book called The Art of Editing.

The masterclass concluded with a reminder to listen to conversations all around us and some advice based on the work of Joseph Conrad: every word must carry the story forward, and it must be carried faster and faster and more intensely.

by Cherri Ryan

#SCBWISyd

















Masterclass A: Picture Books with Julia Marshall and Cathie Tasker

How do you keep your storytelling engaging, surprising, satisfying?

Early Tuesday morning, we along with a gaggle of excited conference delegates, gathered in the beautiful Mitchell Building of the State Library of NSW, excited, for a writers Masterclass with Cathie Tasker and Julia Marshall. What a wonderful and unique opportunity to get two experienced industry professionals in one room to talk about picture books.

Cathie Tasker has been a librarian, an editor at Scholastic Books, HarperCollins, Koala Books and now is a Creative Writing Teacher with the Writers Centre of NSW. I (Coral) have nothing but absolute love and respect for Cathie, who found me wading around in the slush pile about ten years ago, and gave me my ‘first break’ in publishing.

Julia Marshall is a New Zealand based publisher of Gecko Press, having just won best publisher of the year in 2018. With this dynamic duo in the room, we were all very excited to listen and learn.

After some introductory comments, Cathie led us through a reading and discussion of the classic picture book Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney and Anita Jeram. We considered its structure, positives and negatives and thought about it through an editor’s lens.

Each delegate sat and soaked up countless pearls of wisdom and insight from these ‘masters’ of writing. Cathie continued to speak about the importance of Structural Editing - the need to:

  • Read

  • Rest

  • Re-evaluate

  • Rinse and Repeat

We were reminded that the ‘first read’ is the most important; to read without distraction. We were encouraged to read our manuscripts as a child, and then as a parent. We were also encouraged to read our manuscripts as a publisher (from a marketability point of view) and then as an editor (to consider the amount / cost of work required).

LEAVE ROOM FOR NOT ONLY THE ILLUSTRATOR BUT THE READER

Julia inspired us to leave room in our manuscripts not only for the illustrator but for the reader. “Children can leap with you if given the right ways.” Julia went on to talk about the ‘quiet child’ in the story and the importance of emotional core of the story. “The book is not complete until you have a reader.”

Julia then talked us through the picture book, That’s Not a Hippopotamus by Juliette MacIver and Sarah Davis. Julia showed some of Sarah Davis’ early sketches for the book, which gave insight into the process of matching illustration to text.

After giving us insight into page turners and the delight of onomatopoeia, it was then our turn to speak. Each delegate had been prompted to bring a 30 word pitch to a Picture Book Manuscript they had written. Based on the pitches, a few stories were chosen to read out aloud and then be discussed and dissected. This was done with honesty and respect, whereby not only the author benefited but every delegate in the room also gained insight and knowledge.

Cathie and Julia.jpg

We learnt there is a growing trend in Australia for picture books to only be 250 words in length, hence the importance of leaving room for the illustrator and allowing the reader to make leaps in story given the right words. We reminded again to make every word count.

Hearing Cathie and Julia’s comments on the manuscripts was fascinating as they had differing but equally insightful perspectives. Some of the general comments included the need to talk through the child in the book and make sure the voice is not too adult. Cathie also put her editing hat on to demonstrate how one of the manuscripts could be effectively cut back to focus on the core of the story.

Much wisdom was gained within the two-hour masterclass that morning, and each delegate left the room with more knowledge and confidence to tackle our manuscripts and produce even more creative and well written stories.

Congratulations to all those brave participants who had their work critiqued in front of the class, it was so lovely to hear all the unique story ideas being developed and quality words produced. The open sharing of words, ideas and viewpoints made this a fun and engaging workshop.

by Coral Vass and Sarah Wallace

#SCBWISyd





Pitch Perfect: Pitch to Publishers

How does a pitch become a published book?

Illustration courtesy of Liz Anelli - the Panel

Illustration courtesy of Liz Anelli - the Panel

The room is filled with the sounds of chattering friends and strangers introducing themselves. Six industry professionals sit on the stage in a line.

I am aware of the eight people sitting in the front row to the right of the stage, papers in hand, not chatting as much as the rest of the room. My heart beats faster for these eight incredible people. Pitching in front of anyone isn’t easy, but pitching in front of more than 200 people takes some serious courage.

Our emcees, Tracey Hawkins and Nicole Godwin, hush the crowd from the stage and introduce the session. This is Pitch Perfect: Pitch to Publishers.

The Rules:

  • Three minutes (exactly) to pitch your work and read an extract

  • Timekeeper waves at 2.5 minutes

  • Timekeeper waves frantically at 3 minutes

  • Each industry professionals provides feedback on the pitch

The Judging Panel:

Things kick off with a success story from the last SCBWI conference pitching session. Super talented Christina Booth tells us the tale of a manuscript from her bottom drawer that had yet to find a home. When the last SCBWI pitching opportunity arose, she knew it was time to resurrect The Tiger’s Tale.

With some polish and extensive research on how to pitch a book to a panel, Christina pitched what would become One Careless Night, a stunning and haunting tale about the last thylacine.

After we are all wowed by Christina’s experience (and are all secretly searching on our phones to find out when we’ll be able to get her amazing book — it comes out June 2019 by the way), Tracey Hawkins calls, ‘and we’re off and running’, and indeed we are.

Things move really fast. The eight pitchers take the stage, one by one, and entertain us with exciting, thrilling, mysterious, hilarious and heart warming stories.

We hear tales of dragons and mysterious shadows, a family about to star in a reality TV show, a body swapping orangutan, a boy faced with a difficult family situation and very tough times, a courageous girl searching for her lost spark, a historical tale of family, mystery and a girl with some mammoth challenges to overcome, siblings tackling life with a sick mum and a life of hard work in a factory, and a girl who discovers a rhino washed upon a beach.

There’s a mix of middle grade, young adult and a picture book, and each is different and striking and moving. I laugh and giggle and smile and breathe deep and cry just a little as I listen to beautiful writing and wonderful stories I can’t wait to read in full.

After each pitch, the judging panel gets their chance to comment. We hear: ‘love your writing’, ‘great storytelling’, ‘so much fun’, ‘started with a bang’, ‘timely and hilarious’, ‘I’d like to read more’, ‘you’re really owning this’ and ‘the voice was beautiful’.

Through it all, there are snippets of advice that stick out in the feedback:

  • Make sure the set up for your story isn’t too complicated

  • Give thought to the age of the protagonist and make sure they are the right age for the target market

  • Know where your book sits in the market

  • Balance your descriptions

  • Read from chapter one when pitching so judges get to hear the introduction of characters and the set up of the story

  • You can never have too much nose picking and bum scratching!

Cate Whittle, Dee White, Heather Gallagher, Jo Burnell, Grace Bryant, Sheryl Gwyther, Cristy Burne and Neridah McMullin, you are all masters of words. Thank you for sharing your stories with the entire SCBWI community. Your bravery and talents are gargantuan and we all applaud you!

Shaye Wardrop

#SCBWIsyd